This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My First Pregnancy List

A short list of fun things about pregnancy:

1. Eating whatever you want because your body tells you to.  This morning, I had a tuna-melt for breakfast.  So far, my favorite pregnancy craving has been chocolate milk; drunk through a bendy straw. 

2. Napolepsy.  This inventive term was produced by me early in the first trimester when I would zombie walk to the bedroom and fall face first into a coma-like nap for at least three hours at a time.  I  plan naps into my daily schedule now.

3. Lapses in short term memory.  It's fun to retrace your steps just to remember what the hell you went into the bedroom for!

4. Extremely vivid dreams and recollection.  I've had more sex dreams while pregnant than ever before and I recall all the details.

5. Super sensory powers.  Last week I was waiting for our housemate to get up so I could ask him a car question.  From upstairs in my house with closed doors I got a whiff of cigarette smoke indicating he was up.  I ran outside and there he was, but no cigarette.  "Did you just smoke a cigarette?" I asked, and yes he had.  I can also smell fresh baked goods from a mile off.

6.  I am unbelievably horny.  Since the end of my first trimester I am hornier than before, which is saying a lot for me.  This works out for me because my partner's way into it.  So this item could also read Hotter sex life.

7.  The things people say.  I am blessed with a supportive family and friends.  I hear a lot of reassuring things from all of them, especially when I call and tell them of my most recent emotional outburst or doubts.  I also have encountered my first appalling pregnancy-related social situation.  Last week I went to a barbecue at my neighbor's house where I visited with some people I haven't seen since early May.  My neighbor's adult daughter said, "Wow!  You're really filling out, huh?" and looked me up and down.  I just smiled and thought, did she really just say that? 

The best thing I've heard came from my Grandma though.  She was joking with me about the unplanned nature of our pregnancy and said, "So, you took seriously what was poked at you in fun."  Awesome, Grandma, awesome.

8.  No one is allowed to eat your ice cream, black-forest ham, hormone free yogurt, etc.  Hey, the pregnancy books mandate it.

9. Pants not fitting right is no longer cause for concern, it's par for the course.  It's even kosher to use a rubber-band to keep last years shorts from falling down because they won't button.

10.  Boobies.  Bigger, more sensitive, tender, lucious, and responsive than ever before.  I loved them before, and now they're almost doubly good.  Might even been triply good by the end of this thing.

11.  Teasing people about what we'll name the baby.  I'm telling everyone we'll name him/her Jesus if he/she is born on Christmas.


Wendy said...

This is hilarious! So many of these made me laugh out loud. You're a great writer!

And, congratulations!!

Anonymous said...