This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Friday, February 26, 2010

Ride Life to Perfect Laughter

Sometimes I get Really Excited when I write the three morning pages in my journal.  So much so that I want to share it. 

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Present Tense - Blog Catch Up

While H. and I were living with my folks things were pretty intense on the inside of our heads.  In that time I began blogging elsewhere because I needed an outlet.  I guess I wanted it to be a bit more separate and only slightly more anonymous.  I only ever got around to writing three posts.  Now that lovely little blog is sitting, neglected, at The Present Tense.

The name of the blog was inspired by Gwendolyn Brooks and Twitter.  The line in the title bar was tweeted by Poetry Magazine near the start date of the blog.  How appropriate, to lift the text of a famous poet from twitter to use in a blog about The Present moment.

My last defense / is the present tense.
The first post talks a bit about what I wanted to do with the blog.  It's very "stream of consciousness" and tends to jump around where my mind and eyes jumped.  I think I was nervous to write some of what is contained there, here, because I feared I would sound too "crystal shop."  I am practicing every day at letting go of that kind of fear.  Underneath that thinking is the belief that "X will not love me any more if I am Q."  Insert your own X and Q. Where do you hide your true self? 

I never developed the blog out further, but I did import the three entries I wrote to this blog.  

Ffiery Mmaple   "Maple lights fires in my eyes and Blue Spruce dances gaily with Wind."

Matters of the Heart "Another one of my favored contradictions: I prefer to dance like no one is watching, but I kind-of hope someone is."

Grey Matters "Inspiration is always waiting just on the other side of some door. There seem to be few tricks to inviting inspiration in;"

In other blogging news I am working on fleshing out my sex blog more.  I trying to navigate real life developments which are hard to define.  Due to my perfectionism I'm being secretive about the name and location of it.  If you're excitable and curious, and want to know now, email me and I'll give you the URL.  If you're indifferent to new developments, well, keep coming back here at least.  When I'm more satisfied with the language I'm seeking for that blog, I'll publish an ad here and encourage readers to hit me up for the URL, which I will not dole out freely, since I'm keeping it anonymous for safety sake. 

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The High Priestess is Breathing Down My Neck

I have a half hour before I go jogging a distance I still don't know the length of.  I know it's over a mile, but am not confidant it's over two.  Could be.  I like to think I can jog two miles in approximately twenty minutes.  I need to eat some food that will energize me, but not slow me down.  I have a home-made "Lara bar" and about half a cup of our sauerkraut, which seems impossibly tastier every time I take a bite. 

I am back to my morning pages again.  I wish I could say it's because I'm am persistently disciplined, but it's really because I'm going through an "annoyed" phase.  

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Case of the Mystery JOGGING Shoes

There's a lot under the surface of life, everyone knows that.  A lot of malice and dread and guilt, and so much loneliness, where you wouldn't really expect to find it, either.  -Gilead, Marilynne Robinson

I love that it is nearly impossible to tell what a person's life is really like.  The mystery of their daily interactions will always be an unsolved one to you.  And no one can ever know exactly how this or that conversation went, which you carried with you all the way through dinner, without even knowing it.  No one can ever know why the phrase your neighbor said sticks to your throat weeks later, or why you unfairly compare yourself to strangers on the internet.  We're all mysteries to each other, and yet all familiar too.  It seems primitive somehow, to be knocking about thinking we know the whys and what fors of another person when we hardly know why we're still talking to our ex-boyfriend in our head.