This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rolling Seascape

Oh. My. God.  I. Am. So. DUMB.

I decided to start using the jump breaks on my longer posts sometime last week, but didn't think they were working for me.  I spent HOURS scouring forums and help articles trying to figure out why my simplistic blog wasn't taking to this supposedly simple new feature.  Well folks, I just figured it out.  And it was totally dumb.

I believe this is where the internet quip, Hand to Forehead, originated.
In other news, I have earned my sea legs.  In fact, right now as I type I have the distinct feeling of being on a ship on the ocean, with the lovely waves rolling underneath me.  I typically enjoy this feeling of being rocked to sleep by Papa Ocean, but right now it's making me surprisingly queasy.

In spite of my hesitation to admit this, I will say that I have actually been enjoying my surveying job on the ferries.  I get to talk to all sorts of people all day long, while riding along the rolling seascape I'm so new to.  I've garnered a few interesting job leads and flirted with more than a few interesting hotties.  Seattle has more older, pierced and tatted up women than I've seen anywhere.  I have felt like I was staring into a crystal ball, looking at my future self, while talking to a 48 year old woman with a platinum faux-hawk and dainty vines crawling in ink on her collarbones and wrists.

I sat on Hadj's studio floor two nights ago, trying to breath through some anxiety while he painted.  Something he said or I thought spurred me to saying that I have Alice in Wonderland syndrome.  Ever since I was a little girl I have confused this side of the mirror with that.  Hadj noted that I seem to communicate with myself as much as I do with other people.

My writing is still coming in splotches, like a new painting taking shape on a white plain of canvas.  There's a splash of purple in one corner, a streak of red down the left side, I am thinking in short bursts of lyricism.  The normal for me tension of work day repetition is beginning to drain off, even as my equilibrium rocks like the Kitsap Ferry I rode all day.

I have the next three days off, and possibly more after that.  I am planning to receive a call from the library early next week to inform me of my interview for the aide position.  Ye olde aide, I think every time.  I have not, just to be clear, been informed of such an interview in reality.  I'm just thinking like it's already in the bag.  I need to.  I need to believe that my wanting something with this amount of dedication and excitement will make it happen; at least right now I do.

I have gnarly paper cuts on my left hand and a loaf of cheddar peppercorn bread baking on the counter.  Hadj is staying over night at a friend's he's helping move and tomorrow morning will be mine (and the pets) alone.  Savoring it, is what I'll be doing.  Slowly ceasing to rock in my sweetly moored boat, and savoring it.

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