This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Feeling the Tempo

Yesterday, I woke up when the sun was just making its way out of the trees in our Northern yard.  I had planned a day of really getting my hands dirty, doing whatever of the multiple layers of work that need be done. 
Then I found the surprise that my moontime has come, and I did a little jig of happiness.  I exclaimed it so to Hadj who expressed surprise with me and said it was an easy end cycle for me this time around.  We talked about my symptoms and I counted days from the first notice of typical hormonal-moodiness and joked about what a disaster Tuesday had been.  Then I exclaimed, "I get to eat ice cream!!"  I know that ice cream, especially the cheap kind from an unidentified grocery store distributor, is not really the best choice for my health (especially when I eat it by the bowl full), but Hadj set a precedent when we were still back in Chicago.  If he wants to say that sugar helps relieve some kind of menstrual pain, and if I love ice cream so much, who am I to argue?

We got to work, doing our separate chores labeled "Admin" and finished, feeling productive around noon.  It seems then that we felt content to call it a day, because that's exactly what we did.  We went out running errands and again mentioned our surprise to each other that driving around the little town to the various chain stores can still be so much fun.  By the time we got home my energy was very low and I was feeling grateful for this slow time in my life where I can take all the time I want to baby myself, if my body asks me to do so.

I had ice cream right then, and put a silly comedy in the VCR.  Hadj fell asleep with his hands pressed between my thighs and I eventually dozed off too.  I woke, feeling peppy and cheerful, less than an hour later.  The movie was over and Hadj was still sawing logs.  I moved to get out of bed and he woke feeling very groggy and with a tummy ache.  The day before we had gone into Tacoma to visit Marlene's Market and Deli so I could apply for a job there and we could get raw milk and bulk spices and herbs.  We drank some of the milk with dinner.  I was really excited to try it, and our friend Jeff came over who drinks milk by the half-gallon.  Hadj had some too, even though he never drinks milk.  Now we know why.  He's had horrible stomach cramps since yesterday morning.  I made him some peaceful tummy tea last night with lots of chamomile, lavender, and catnip, which I read on the web is sometimes good for upset bellies.  It was heavenly tasting tea, and did feel very relaxing when swallowed.

I took advantage of my energy and danced around to funky music until my energy shifted.  I was feeling self conscious which was annoying me.  I turned the music down and we spent several hours reading in bed.  Hadj was reading his music books, trying to remember how to read music so he can play his bass more, and I was sorting through a pile of papers, fliers, and brochures I collected this week.  I got to a newspaper I'd picked up from Marlene's and became entranced by all that it contained.  The paper is called New Spirit Journal and it's a whole paper written in PROnoia!

I was sort of floored, since it contained articles all speaking to the readers to trust, love, and pull up to a higher self.  One third of the articles began with the author stating that this year, this time, right now, is the time for all humans aware to pull up out of their egos and into a higher consciousness focused on oneness and loving.  Very opposite the normal papers printed.  I began reading paragraphs from the paper aloud, because I was so excited.  I learned about this famous woman Donna Eden, who has given up living anywhere permanently so she and her medical doctor husband can travel the world spreading the knowledge that our bodies are smarter than our brains and psyches; that we have the power to heal ourselves without Western medicine's radiations, pills, and chemicals.  Her writing was very inspiring to me and I leapt off the bed to the computer where I could read more about the Women of Wisdom Conference in Seattle mid-February, and about Donna's work.

Her workshop is sold out already, not surprising based on the info in the article I'd read.  I'm not the only one very compelled by the wisdom this woman speaks.  I returned to bed and read an article that was typed out from someone who channeled the whole thing from one of his/her lightworking guides.  I was astonished to have the privilege of reading something that one usually has to pay to receive.  I read that even Oprah's famous Dr. Oz is giving mention and praise to energy work as the next wave of medicine that will come to the West.  I was very gratified to learn such a thing. We read until we were sleepy, after a day's work of napping and taking extra nice care of our bodies. 

I thought I knew what I would be doing as soon as I got out here.  Then, when I saw that I wasn't exactly sure how to get where I wanted to go, I thought I was lost again and feared.  I reverted to old habits and ways of doing things and felt terrible for a bit, because my body was arguing with my ringleader mind.  Remembering becomes easier though, every time I remember how I want to live my life and how to listen to my innate wisdom.  I have the knowledge to do myself right, all I have to do is listen to it.  Instant gratification is something that will eventually become strange and novel to me.  I'm in a paradigm shift. 

A few months ago I found that slow and laborious efforts paid off huge dividends of joy and the feeling of accomplishment and gratitude.  I didn't know that before.  I didn't have the frame of reference in my body or history for such behavior.  I remember now that I did have something: I had a motto, something that popped out of my mouth one day and bears its strong meaning more and more.  For me, low and slow, that is the tempo.

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