Yes, I'm back from the west and yes I'm glowing through jet-lag, which seems to have finally caught up to me. I can say with out a trace of sarcasm or embarrassment I had the time of my life (cue the music, Baby).
I wrote as much as I could down in my journal on Sunday night's flight home. I read it through tears last night to Hadj, who thanked me for my tendency to archive. I finally began bleeding on Sunday, after another "abnormally" long cycle, which caused me to be very emotionally wobbly yesterday. I thanked him on the phone. I needed to cry without getting sad and was able to.
So now I'm back. I'm here and there. I'm focusing on sitting up straight (the ever present office-worker battle in me) while also flitting around still with the giant Cedar trees in our yard. Ours. We and us. I am here and there.
I am not processing so much as I am imagining, building, and painting what is to come. There are times when every detail seems clear to me and times when I feel I'm plugging my nose before I plunge. I will talk to HR this week and give my notice soon. My family has been notified, for the most part, my going-away party will be planned. The next chapter will begin this fall. ShanaRose goes west for love and the future. How very fucking exciting.
I suppose I will begin writing some of those stories from trip soon. I keep thinking of it as my test drive week. Just so you know, I'm buying.