I'm also tolerably sad and slightly uncomfortable physically. I'm feeling too thin skinned these days and want to know how to build a more protective barrier, but not one that turns into resistance to the outer world. I want to be accepting, but not permeable. I think the modern world poisons my body too quickly, I always wonder how other people feel that or think about it.Yeah, I'm quoting myself in my blog. I don't know how weird it is to do that, but I don't care too much about weird. I do care about writing and clarity and didn't want to remove the first sentence there, out of context as it may be, because it leads to the discussion I want to open.
Body pain, stress, sensitivity, responsibility. How do y'all balance these? Some times I feel there's a secret I'm missing to being able to accomplish all I want while supporting myself in the big urban flats. When I haven't gotten as much sleep as I'd like, or when I've been stressed emotionally so much that it drains into my muscles and turns into burning pain, I start to wonder about the other ambitious folks out there. How do they keep going and going? Is it merely an attitude that doesn't allow room for thinking this is too much? Do they just assume their bodies will willingly motor them to and fro for 18 hours a day without protest? Do they drink 14 bottles of kombucha a day and get up at 4 am to do yoga?
When I get home at the end of a long day out I feel buzzed on society. It takes a conscious effort to let go of all my effort, and time to let the "work harder" mode of Chicago drain out of me so I can return to a state of openness and meditation. The concrete, the noise, the conversation, the commuter pace - I have to stretch all of these things out of me like lactic acid in growing muscles. My intuition tells me it's good that I notice all these things, that all this noticing I'm doing is setting me upright on the path I'm walking, but my ego is getting tired of these body aches and pains dragging me down so often. I have goals to meet! Debt to kill! I have a quiet, humble place in the world I'm going to and it doesn't accept credit cards. So, once more readers, in summary:
How do y'all maintain balance? How do you keep going when you have to keep going? Is it attitude?
Do you drink 14 bottles of kombucha a day and get up at 4 am to do yoga? Do you eat the world's most balanced diet and take vitamins?