This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Ripe Berry Red

One of my traits is a sense of urgency. Patience and I are mere acquaintances, but I'm learning. This sense of urgency is over-developed, but it can yield good things. When I'm down I am determined to work my way out of it as soon as possible.

When, three weeks ago, I learned that my ex has herpes, it took a minute for the implications to sink in. As a result of his dishonesty (10 months in the sack with me before the big H was even mentioned) I too have this common std. Yeah, it took a minute for the lying, the disease, the ever-changed-life-aspect to begin to sink in. Not only was I infected but for the first time in my love/relationship history I'd been really lied to. A big ass lie too.

The first week I read about the physical manifestations, the prodromal period, foods and moods that can trigger it, how people cope with medicines. The second week I didn't want to think about it, I wanted to feel good and forget about the mess. I am forcing myself again to learn so I don't do the idiotic thing he did, which, as I see it was a combination of fear, ignorance, denial and dishonesty. Now I go to the myriad websites and feel I've stumbled into a whole new subsection of the population; 20% of the Americans have this. Maybe I can have herpes potlucks: I'll bring the argnine free vanilla bean sorbet Gina, you bring the Valtrex and dental dams! I click on the life-style information sections. How do I cope? How do I tell people I'm dating or going to date? What have others done before me? What ways other than meds and denial can I deal?

Something that's bringing me down is the aspect that my once cherry red hot sex life is now going to have to go through some procedure changes. It was actually the first thing that helped me get to the tip of the iceberg of my feelings towards the ex and his action. I thought to myself, after half a dozen years of being 98% sexually realized and liberated, screwing who, how, where and when I want to; after doing sometimes stupid things with people I don't know and coming out pussy unscathed; after all that; after I make a commitment to this sometimes challenging relationship NOW I get fucking herpes from the fuck I just committed to?!?!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm living in the age of Irony.

Well, to help me deal with these lifestyle changes I'm committing to three things for myself:
discipline (to get my body strong, healthy & happy),
honesty (so I don't commit the kind of ass-hattery that others have), and
optimism (strawberry moon inspired story telling of sexcapades that have rosied my cheeks, cherry, and bottom in the past).

Today I'll put glints in my eye thinking of where to start.
Sweet? Like when Shuggie Otis and foreplay changed my life at 21?
Sour? Like the orgasms that brought me to hot tears in the back of my car parked in the restaurant lot?
Scintillating? Like clothes ripped and tangled around waists and ankles while fucking on the kitchen table?

Co-workers, read at your own risk.
Friends, Voyeurs, Strangers enjoy the Strawberry Sex Stories to come.


Tara said...

I recommend the Iris. :)

But really, you can still have sex, right? Just with protection?

ShanaRose said...

excellent, and it's so pretty! i think that might be a perfect gift to myself, now that you mention it...

i can definitely still have sex, definitely with protection. dental dams will be a new experience, but it'll be ok. worth it, i'm sure :)