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This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Friday, September 28, 2007

Not a Rant, A Dream

I was in a MOOD this morning. I tried not to chalk all of it up to menstrual irritation, realizing that my current work situation plays a very large role. Something cool happens to me when I bleed. I become fucken lucid. Like, things I Know As True are Completely clear to me. The reason, therefore, that I am more irritatable is due to the Truths becoming Unavoidable...until work weariness and the blood lucidity wane off. Then I can go on stuffing my passions into a sock that I bury under my kitchen sink.

I Hate It.

Here's my current dream:
I work, three, maybe four really part time jobs. I continue at Wishbone, for the cash in hand and attractive bartender's company. I write articles covering topics like: books, city events, media, music, food, relationships, and myself for money. I am a receptionist/instructor's apprentice at a Yoga studio. I nanny or teach or something having to do with young people's education and roundingness. For fun, once or twice a week, I'm a phone sex worker.

-None of these jobs' hours add up to more than 50 hours per week and I get 2 full days off.
-All of the cashola I earn working these varied and informative jobs pays for my current lifestyle, which is quite modest and involves saving money for possible travel, which will be encouraged by all my employers.
(-I will write about my travel experiences!
-I will get cool new educational games/toys relating to new cultures/places!
-I will visit other yoga studios to get ideas for the one(s) I know in Chicago!)

I will also have time to: write prose for myself, read books for myself, meet, greet and ravish lovers, see friends, take walks, cook, play with my cat, nest in my lovely dream apartment space, make random art like paper collages, mobiles, painting, knitted things and lovely meals for my lovely friends/lovers.

Are these unreasonable aspirations? Can these things actually come to pass without me being totally broke?

Writers-- please help me find a way to get my work out there beyond blogging for free.

Teachers-- please point me in a direction of wholesome teaching opportunities.

Lovers-- please touch me and be kind.

Friends-- please encourage and push me and don't be upset when I don't respond because I'm in a MOOD.

Mother Earth-- please help.

Thank you all, in advance.
Love,
Shana Rose is getting fed up and upset by the feeding

6 comments:

Zem Chance said...

I love you, and your dreams are beautiful. I don't know that I have any practical advice to offer (working on the figuring out what my dreams are and how to make them a reality, myself), other than to believe in your dreams and do what you can to make them a reality. Again, I love you. Bleed, bleed, bleed...

David said...

there is a dykeboy in philadelphia who thinks you are truly wonderful and feels blessed to be part of your life. he will bring you yummy chocolates and wonderful touch when he comes to visit you in november. in the meantime, he believes that all your hopes and dreams not only can, but also will come true.

kindacloudy said...

subfire...
pretend you are yourself from the future sent all the way back to this moment in time, this crossroads when you felt so restless, when you knew a new step was innevitable. pretend that your future self pleaded for the time travel as a final death-bed wish, because the first time around you blew this chance to take a creatively bold step and instead continued on with your habitually numbing idea of "working to get by", cashing in years and decades of the present to wind up as this dissapointed dying future self.
now....here you are, your wish has been granted and you are way back in time at that nostalgic period in 2007 when you were so fired up and angry at complacency. you are right here, you blink a few times to focus and breath in a crisp draw of air. you look at your hands & your bare toes, no longer wrinkled but taut with vitality. your legs feel fresh and eager to run...you can feel health coursing through your veins & you can taste youth on the tip of your tongue! your (old) apartment is quiet with a morning sun starting to push light past the window shades...you hear traffic and birds and distant voices from outside, a world alive and open and ready...
this is it, you are in control- guide your body to the front door and step out with the confidence and brazenness to do what your future self wishes you would have done all along....

Carrot said...

I thinks I love you.

What magazine do you read and love? Submit something to them.

(and enable commenting w/o a google acct?)

Tara

aka Shasta said...

Thanks Tara,
how do I find out more info about you?
The magazine idea = good one.
<3

Tara said...

Email me. :)